The Swap
by GoddessofDawn7843
Summary: (Gender-Bender-fic) Batman and Wonder Woman are forced to step a mile in each other's shoes when a mission against Circe goes awry, and to make things worse, tension is at an all-time high between them and mounting – could the curse on the two of them drive them apart permanently, or is, it in fact, a blessing in-disguise?
1. Chapter 1 - Prelude

**Summary:** (Gender-Bender-fic) Batman and Wonder Woman are forced to step a mile in each other's shoes when a mission against Circe goes awry, and to make things worse, tension is at an all-time high between them and mounting – could the curse on the two of them drive them apart permanently, or is, it in fact, a blessing in-disguise? Rated 'T' for language

**A/N:** I got this idea after seeing a pic on the internet that showed Batman meeting his and Superman's female counter-parts in an alternate reality. Admittedly I've read quite a few fics in here that involves the Justice League meeting their opposite-gender counterparts as well… so, after thinking about it a little, I came up with this.

Okay, cool! Read on!

**[Chapter Edited: 2013/04/26]**

**Disclaimer:** I can guarantee you I am, in no way, the owner of these characters, and as for the plot… the inspiration behind it isn't really mine either.

* * *

**The Swap**

* * *

**~Prelude~  
**_…Awkward…_

* * *

Superman could only blink in sheer astonishment and absolute bewilderment. To any normal person just walking into the Meeting Room, it would have been a semi-normal sight, but the Man of Steel knew better… or, thought he did as he was still very, very much confused. In fact, the entire situation was just confusing, and it wasn't like he was getting answers either so the state of confusion remained absolute.

Superman's sky blue eyes travelled from the man to the woman across from him he was glaring at. He frowned.

"Okay…" the Kryptonian said eventually after a brief, albeit hyper-tense pause. "Run all of it by me again – exactly _how_ did this happen?"

He instantly regretted asking this as the two of them went off in explosive unison, both still glaring at each other as the shouting ensued and escalated.

"He got in my way!"

"I pushed you out of the way!"

"You were trying to be a hero!"

"I was trying to help you!"

"You were being a insolate, stubborn, fool of a man!"

"Well now, you can't really call me that anymore, can you, _Princess_."

Superman sighed. "Bruce, Diana, enough." He said wearily. "You both need to calm down."

The two of them turned their matching death-glares onto the Kryptonian.

"No, Kal," the man said, standing up from his seat, promptly slapping his hands on the surface of the table, sending tremors throughout it. "I will definitely not calm down! Look at me!"

And he did. The top and bottom part of his gladiator-style armour was separated by a leather belt with two golden W's and a golden lasso strapped onto it on the side – the scarlet breastplate on his chest left his muscular forearms bare, while the leather kilt was dark blue with stars. A golden helmet covered his head and most of his face but still allowed the scowl to be visible.

"C'mon, Diana," Superman tried to reason. "It's not _that_ bad."

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, though Superman only realized that afterwards. "Not that bad!" the Amazon exploded incredulously.

The woman rolled her eyes behind her cowl at Diana's outburst. "Take it down a notch, Diana – your voice can penetrate steel walls. And it's not like you've got anything to complain about." she said scathingly. "_These_, on the other hand, are completely pointless." She said, making a sweeping gesture at her upper body.

She was wearing a suite of form-fitting black armour with a cape draped over her shoulders – she sat rigidly against her seat and when she crossed her arms over the bat-insignia on her now… um, _prominent_ chest.

Superman felt a slight blush creep over his face. "Uhh…" Eyes up, Kent, keep your eyes up, he chanted mentally – seriously, the last thing he needed was a ticked-off Bat.

"Not a word out of you, Bruce Wayne!" Diana growled. "I had everything perfectly under control. If you hadn't interfered, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

Bruce's mouth twitched but otherwise kept calm, or was trying to, at least. "If I didn't interfere, you probably wouldn't be here right now. You have no idea what Circe's staff could have done to you."

"Frankly, any other fate would have been better than this! I'm a laughingstock! And, to top it all off, we let Circe escape while we were too busy being distracted – that is completely unacceptable, we failed our mission."

Bruce looked away and mumbled something that sounded like, "You're the one that started screaming like a banshee…"

Diana's sea blue eyes sparked dangerously and Superman had to step in before the Amazon attacked Bruce from across the table.

"Okay you two, instead of blaming each other, why don't we start coming up with a solution instead? If this is magical, I'm sure Dr Fate-"

"You sent Dr Fate's on a mission in an alternate dimension, Kal, remember?" Diana reminded abruptly, cutting him off. "He won't be back for another three weeks."

"Oh… right. Okay then…" Superman said before an idea struck him. "What about Zatanna? I'm sure she'll be able to help."

"She's on a mission as well." Diana said, straightening up. "She'll be back, but it might be a few hours before we can ask her."

Bruce snorted and stood up. "Fine, whatever – contact me when she comes back."

"Where do you think you're going?" Diana demanded as Bruce started walking to the door.

"Gotham – I'm not staying here for any longer than I have to."

"Er… Bruce, are you sure that's a good idea…?" Superman asked, frowning in concern.

"I'm not going to let anybody see me like this. I'm leaving." Bruce deadpanned and left the meeting room.

"Oh, that man!" Diana fumed when the doors slid shut again.

Superman could only stare at the Amazon and decided it was better just to keep his mouth shut and rubbed his temples with his hand as he felt a headache coming along.

* * *

_**Meanwhile…**_

* * *

Leaving the meeting room behind, Bruce stuck to the shadows for most of the way down to the Transporter Bay, he used his grappling hook and took to hanging from the ceiling whenever he heard somebody approaching him, determined not to get caught.

The whole situation was just utterly humiliating, not only was he cursed with this unwanted… _transformation_, but Diana was blaming him for purposely getting caught in the crossfire for her (which, he was trying to convince himself for the last hour that he had done for purely professional, none-personal reasons, of course).

But, what else was he supposed to do? The woman was just standing there like a statue! She was the stubborn one. He had done absolutely nothing wrong.

Then, it dawned on him – why did he even care? He was Batman, he was meant to be cold, distant and detached. Could it have been that he was just overthinking the whole situation, or was it something else?

He shook his head. The sooner Zatanna fixed them, the sooner he could forget that entire day had ever happened.

Unfortunately for Bruce, a streak of red followed by an unnatural breeze happened to pass him by at that exact moment.

"Hey, Ba-" the Flash greeted, but his sentence however was cut off as, in a blink of an eye, the Speedster went from halfway down the hall to standing right in front of Bruce, the whites of his cowl as large as dinner plates while his jaw was practically on the ground.

He didn't say anything, and honestly, that was just plain unnatural.

Bruce cringed internally. Damn. He clenched his fists as he closed his eyes tightly – why did the universe hate him so? Out of all the people on the Watchtower, honestly, out of anybody, anywhere really, why did it have to be the Flash?

"Not. One. Word." he said lowly in his most threatening tone possible. However, since his voice was different, higher, it came out sounding… _husky_, much to Bruce's horror.

Flash blinked for a moment before he suddenly doubled over, his entire body shaking violently as he clutching his stomach laughing so hard.

"_Oh my, __**gosh**_!" he choked, bending over as his body shook with laughter. "B-Bats – is that… is that **you**?" he said between his obnoxious fits of laughter.

"Flash…" Bruce said warningly.

"Oh man… hold on a sec… let me catch my breath," he said, taking several deep breaths and reaching up, lifting up his cowl slightly to wipe away tears. When he recovered, he was wearing an obnoxiously broad grin that stretched well across his face. "It really is you, isn't it? _Dude_! I hardly recognized you… well, except for the scowling and being as intimidating as all heck and stuff, but I guess some things will never change, huh?"

Bruce responded with a glare, the magnitude of which would have had Flash running for dear life right now. It wasn't working as he was still standing there, grinning like an idiot.

Flash chuckled, clearly unperturbed. "But seriously, what happened to you?"

"Move. Now. I'm not kidding around, Flash. I will eject you into space if you don't get out of my way in the next five seconds."

"_Ooh_, it looks like somebody's being a little touchier than usual, aren't we Bats?" he said, wriggling his eyebrows.

Bruce's teeth ground together. He will not kill the Flash, he will not kill the Flash – strangle him until he lost consciousness, maybe, but otherwise, he would just have to settle for mentally incinerating him with heat-vision.

"Go. Away." He said slowly, menacingly.

Surprisingly, Flash nodded.

"Okay." He said cheerfully. "Just stay here while I tell everybody else. They've gotta see this!"

"_What_!?" he shrieked, his voice several octaves higher than before.

Bruce's eyes flew wide open as his hands simultaneously flew over his mouth in startling realization – yes, he, Bruce Wayne, Batman, had just shrieked.

Flash only started laughing again, and before Bruce could stop him, the Speedster was already gone.

All the while, his voice carried throughout the hallways. "Hey, guys! You'll never _believe_ what I just saw!"

Bruce wasn't sure how long he stood there, frozen in horror, but, once he came to his senses, he all but ran for the Transporter Bay.

* * *

"_There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women.  
Both sexes seem to be equally irrational."_  
- Albert Ellis

* * *

**A/N:** Before you start asking any questions, know that some of the answers to aforementioned questions will be given in chapters to come – _**however**_, this will only be determined by how this story is received… so, yeah – I'm hoping you guys like it!

Also, I don't know if this is funny or not and it is rather short, but it seemed like a good idea writing this at the time so here's to keeping my fingers crossed! Let it also be known that I'm doing this purely for the hell of it and my own personal amusement.

I wholeheartedly accept any form of feedback, be they Reviews or PM's, good or bad, so feel free to talk to me if you have an opinion to give or an idea to share!

Adieu and farewell for now my friends.

Until next time,  
GoddessofDawn out


	2. Chapter 2 - Chapter 1

**A/N:** _**Wow**_… the response to this story was better than what I could have hoped for – here's a shout-out to all of you who have subscribed and added this story to your favourites! Thank you so much! And sorry for taking so long!

Also, note that this story is going to be mainly told from Bruce's point-of-view – don't get me wrong, I love Wonder Woman and Superman and the lot, but let's face it, it's just **way** more fun messing with Batman ;D

**CHAPTER EDITED [2013/09/02]**

**Disclaimer:** Let's check – nope, sorry, I don't own the _Justice League_!

* * *

**The Swap**

* * *

**~Chapter One~  
**_Of Butlers & Birds_

* * *

Bruce sat up hunched against his chair in front of the Batcomputer's giant screen as the Flash's last words before he left the Watchtower an hour previously replayed over and over in his mind…

He had just stepped into the Transport Bay, Mr Terrific, who had looked up from the control panel when he entered, did a double take when he saw the Dark Knight but didn't say anything when Batman glared.

"_To the Batcave?"_ the other hero asked weakly, already typing in the coordinates.

Batman had nodded and marched over to the transporter. But, right as light was about to envelop him, he heard Flash's loud voice coming from outside. _"Batman's got boobs!"_

He could have sworn he caught Mr Terrific – that traitorous bastard – laughing about it before a bright light blinded him.

He'd been brooding (he refused to think of it as 'hiding') in the Cave since.

Shifting around uncomfortably, Bruce's glare faltered when he looked up and saw his reflection of the computer's screen.

Despite himself, he flinched.

He always assumed he got his looks from his father, and true, he did for the most part as he had inherited Thomas Wayne's midnight blue eyes, nose and dark hair, but at that moment, the person staring back at him was the splitting image of his mother – it was still his face of course, but he noted there was a definite roundness to it that wasn't there before.

Hesitantly at first, he ran his now-slender fingers over his lips before very slowly trailing his index finger over his cheek and ran it down along the side of his jaw.

It was so weird…

"Damn…" he muttered, turning his head away, frowning when he heard his voice again.

"Master Bruce?"

Bruce straightened up instantly in his seat. Alfred. He could not catch a break today.

"Sir, are you there?"

"Over here, Alfred," Bruce mumbled. Might as well get it over and done with, it's not like his dignity wasn't damaged enough already.

"What happened to your voice?" Alfred asked, approaching the chair. "And, honestly, Master Bruce, isn't it a little early for you to be-" he stopped midsentence when he saw Bruce and froze.

A tense moment passed, in which Bruce was certain Alfred had convinced himself he'd seen a ghost… which, in some way, he kind of did.

"Good Lord…" he said eventually.

The look on Alfred's face was priceless, it was damn-near impossible to faze the butler, and if the situation was different, Bruce would have laughed at his expression – he was utterly speechless.

"M-master Bruce?"

"Hello, Alfred."

"What… what on earth happened to you? How…?"

"Circe." Bruce said bluntly, cutting him off.

Alfred blinked. "You mean the sea witch from Greek mythology?"

"She's definitely not a myth, Alfred. She cursed us like this."

"'Us', si- Master Bruce?"

Bruce ignored the butler's minor slip of the tongue and sat back against his seat, sinking into it. "Diana was hit too when I tried pushing her out of the way. We're both stuck in bodies like this."

"Meaning…?"

"Diana's been turned into a man."

"Oh dear…" Alfred said, frowning in concern. "Well… are you both alright at least?"

Bruce snorted humourlessly. "Sure, we're great, just fantastic." He said, sarcasm dripping off his words.

"You know what I mean." Alfred said, obviously having recovered some of his usual composure.

"Physically, we're fine. Anatomically, we're… adjusting?"

"I suppose that's a good sign then… but, are the effects… um, permanent?"

"I damn well hope not." Bruce said darkly.

"And what does Diana think of this entire ordeal?"

"How should I know? She's convinced herself all of this is my fault… and it wasn't like we were on proper speaking terms before this whole mess anyway…"

"I see…"

Bruce, seeing the expression on Alfred's face, narrowed his eyes at him. "I know that look, Alfred. Whatever you want to say, spit it out already."

Alfred only shook his head. "Another time, perhaps when your judgement isn't as clouded."

Bruce arched an brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just that women in general are far more temperamental than men… but I'm sure you know that now better than anybody, don't you, Master Bruce?"

Bruce's faced darkened as he shot a glare at the butler who was now smirking ever so slightly.

"Too soon?" Alfred asked, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth.

"That wasn't funny, Alfred." Bruce grumbled.

"Oh, I would strongly disagree with that – you have to admit once you move past the shock and incredulity of the situation, it is all quite humorous really."

As Bruce muttered something about the unemployment rate, the teleporter in the corner of the Cave suddenly lit up.

When both Bruce and Alfred looked up, they were surprised to see Richard Grayson, still in his policeman's uniform, standing there – for some reason, there was also a large brown splatter on the front of his blue shirt.

"Master Richard," Alfred said. Bruce sunk into his chair even further.

"Sorry for dropping in like this, Alfred," Dick said, approaching the computer.

Alfred stepped in front of the chair to shield it from view. "Not that I mind, but shouldn't you be at work?"

"I'm on my lunch break. Anyway, I'm actually looking for Bruce…" he said cheerfully. "A little birdie told me some _pretty_ interesting news about him. I'm following up on it to see if it's true."

Bruce banged the back of his head repeatedly against his chair. He knew perfectly well who this 'little birdie' was and cursed the Flash under his breath, swearing vengeance against the speedster as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

However, this only drew Dick's unwanted attention to him and Cheshire smile broke out over the younger man's face.

"There you are!" he said and sidestepped Alfred. As he did, Bruce turned his chair to block Dick off. "Aw, c'mon Bruce, aren't you going to say hello?"

"Master Richard," Alfred said, trying and failing not to sound amused while he watched the two of them. "If I may, how did you find out about this?"

"How does anybody find out anything these days, Alfred? I went on Facebook." Dick said matter-of-factly.

Bruce let out a derisive snort at this statement and momentarily held still. Dick, on the other hand, took full advantage of this and swung the chair around on its axis.

"Ah-ha!"

The moment his son saw him, Bruce could see Dick was torn between staring and laughing his ass off. He sighed heavily and sat up straighter, squaring his shoulders. "Just laugh already." He snapped.

Dick grinned but didn't openly show his amusement like Bruce had expected. "Now why would I do something like that?" he asked innocently.

"How did you even get here? You can only use the zeta-beams if you've-"

"Got the permission from a senior League member?" Dick finished off. "A senior member, like, say… Wally?"

Bruce opened his mouth to say something but clearly thought better of it.

Meanwhile, Alfred walked up to Dick and tugged at the sleeve of his shirt as he examined the stain with distaste. "What happened here?"

"It's only a little coffee, Alfred."

"Well how did it get on your shirt?"

"I spilled some over myself this morning," Dick said, stepping away from him, yanking his sleeve out of the butler's grasp. "No big deal."

"You mean to say that you have been walking around like that all day?" Alfred said incredulously, giving Dick his version of the Batglare.

Dick's eyes widened out of alarm. "I didn't have a spare in my locker, okay!" he protested and looked at Bruce, mouthing 'a little help?'.

Bruce only sat back and smirked and otherwise didn't lift a finger. 'Not my problem.' He mouthed back. Ah, sweet payback.

Dick scowled but didn't have enough time as Alfred addressed him again. "You're not leaving like that." He said firmly. "Take off your shirt."

"W-what-?" Dick spluttered.

"Not to worry, Master Richard. A quick run through the wash and it'll be good as new."

As Dick stared at the butler absurdly Bruce looked on smugly. "You should have known better to come here with a dirty shirt, Dick." He admonished airily.

Dick looked between the two of them. "Are you serious?"

"It won't take long." Alfred reassured. "When are you expected to be back?"

"I guess I can spare a hour…?" Dick sighed before a worrying glint entered his eyes. "But are you sure I should strip now? I mean, there _is_ a lady present."

Bruce's smirk was wiped clean off his face and he huffed indignantly. "Call me that again and I will deck you." He threatened.

"That's hardly fair, Bruce – you know I hate fighting girls." Dick quipped, starting to unbutton his shirt.

Bruce's jaw clenched. "Are you done yet?" he gritted through his teeth.

"Nope!"

Just as Dick had removed his shirt and gave it to Alfred, the teleporter started up again and announced the arrival of Superman and Wonder Woman.

When the two Leaguers saw Dick shirtless however, they paused momentarily and stared in confusion. Dick and Alfred in turn stared at Diana – the Amazon however automatically shot a glare at Bruce who then stood up and glared back while Clark's gaze alternated between Bruce, Diana and Dick.

For a very strange few moments, silence hung heavily in the air until Alfred cleared his throat. "I'll… just go put this in the wash then. Excuse me." He said and turned to leave the Cave.

"Okay then…" Dick trailed-off. "Now that the awkward silence is over… how's it going?"

Bruce and Diana both stopped glaring at each other to look at the younger man while Clark chuckled.

"Dick, it's always a pleasure seeing you." The Kryptonian said cordially.

"Right back at ya, Supes." Dick nodded.

"What are you doing here?" Bruce grunted.

Diana crossed her arms over her chest, with her helmet off, long raven black hair gracefully falling to the middle of her back. "As if we'd come here out of choice."

"Um, actually, we spoke to Zatanna and she asked that we meet her here…" Clark explained.

Diana snorted delicately. "That, and news has been circulating around on the Watchtower about our failure today and there's nowhere I can go without receiving lewd remarks from the men… and rather strange looks from the women… and oddly enough a few catcalls as well."

Clark was about to laugh at this but hit it as a bad cough when Diana shot him a dirty look.

"Now would the catcalls be from the woman… or…?" Dick so bravely (or, stupidly) asked, making Bruce snigger when Diana redirected her glare onto the younger vigilante.

Clark smiled. "You'd be amazed." he admitted.

Diana's cheeks flushed from embarrassment. "One word of what happened this afternoon, Clark Kent, and I will personally wipe that smirk off your face!" she said and looked back at Bruce who was now laughing openly. "Be quiet, you!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, is that an order, Diana? Because the last time I checked this was still my cave."

"Yes, but the last time _I_ checked, I'm not the only one effected by all of this!"

"_No_. Really?" Bruce said, bitingly sarcastic. "You know, I have not picked up on that, _at all_."

"Just stop it – you're not making any of this any easier!"

Bruce finally started yelling back, which was pretty rare considering that he almost never really lost his temper. "How can I when you keep going off on me!"

"I wouldn't have to if you didn't insist on sticking your nose into my business!"

"Oh for god's sake – will you get _over_ that already!"

As Bruce and Diana continued bickering, Dick looked over at Clark.

"Is it always like this between the two of them?"

Clark sighed and shook his head dejectedly. "It's gotten worse lately, but, yeah, pretty much… not to mention it's just plain weird seeing them… well, like that."

Dick nodded. "…It's still funny as hell though."

"Oh yeah." Clark agreed.

"Shut up!" Bruce and Diana said in unison much to the other's distaste.

"Wow," a new, feminine voice said from nowhere_. _"And I thought I had problems!"

Everybody looked around, all arguments temporarily put on hold – nothing had been announced from the transporters as the voice seemed to come from seemingly everywhere but nowhere in the cave.

"Zatanna?" Clark called out.

"Who else?" she asked before spontaneously appeared next to the Kryptonian in a theatrical puff of smoke.

All eyes turned in unison turned onto the leggy witch as she adjusted her hat and dusted herself off promptly. When Zatanna was done, however, her eyes instantly fell onto Dick who was standing across from her.

A mischievous grin broke out over her face. "Well, hello there." She said pointedly.

Dick grinned back and Bruce rolled his eyes. "Zee,"

At the sound of his voice, Zatanna's head shot in his direction and it was clear by the look on her face that she had been taken by surprise. She didn't say anything as she turned her head towards Clark and Diana, her eyes sweeping over the Amazon.

"Oh boy…" she said after a while. "It's never a dull moment with you guys, is it?"

* * *

"_What's it gonna be?  
Gotta another theory,  
You want me to hear –  
Taking your refuge in your reason,  
Just to beat the fear,  
That we don't know why we're here."_

"_Even cold hard facts,  
Have got a way of changing –  
Their stripes in the light of a new day,  
The world we hold so tight and true,  
Turn it on its head."_  
- The Kongos, 'I Wanna Know' Lyrics'

* * *

A/N: A little abrupt, but I'm glad it's done. Next up, Zatanna's verdict, Tim Drake's reaction, that and a few of the League girls decide to take it on themselves to take Bruce shopping… oh, and maybe Jason Todd (a.k.a. the Red Hood) as well. Stay tuned!

**In Response to the previous chapter's reviews:**

_**R-dude:**_ The bloody most fantastic first review in all of first review-dom, dude – I was absolutely overcome with enthusiasm for this story when I read this the first time… and yeah, that first part may be a tiny bit sarcastic.  
_**1Superman4Me:**_ I can only hope I live up to your expectations! Thank you so much for reading!  
_**Guest:**_ Maybe, maybe not – Batman is flexible, who's to say something like boobs could slow him down? …Either way, it'll still be funny. Thanks!  
_**FateOfChaos:**_ I hope you like some of the one-liners I have in here! And thanks for reviewing!  
_**R (Guest):**_ Oh, you'll just have to wait and see how the others will react to this! I just had to do Alfred and Dick first – the rest is to come, promise!  
_**Princess Aixa:**_ And continue I shall! :D  
_**yellowstar128:**_ I've already got several ideas of what's gonna happen next, it's all gonna be epic! Thanks!  
_**lol (Guest):**_ Love, love, love this review! Thanks for the idea regarding Lois (totally shows promise I like), totally gonna use that if that's okay with you – and as to the guys checking Bruce out… that's definitely going to be a very, very strong possibility in future chapters… oh, and thanks for pointing out the upsides of Bruce and Diana's situation ability-wise for me, I did not think of that. Please, review again!  
_**ERoc901 Tha Clean Up Man:**_ Thanks, but no, Bruce and Diana only turned into their opposite genders, it's still their own bodies… only, not.  
_**As19:**_ Sorry for the long wait!  
_**Winged-panter1:**_ The rest of the Robins' reactions will come soon. It's gonna be awesome :)  
_**Kaydreams:**_ I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long!  
_**Njordy:**_ I'll try and update as soon as I can!  
_**kyoshira7:**_ I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it. I hope I got Dick right in this chapter, and Zatanna may be a little sketchy since she's only in the last few lines but there'll be more of her in the next chapter!  
_**Katia Raven:**_ Why thank you :)  
_**Red Chimera:**_ Thanks!  
_**BostonBill**_: Great! I hope you enjoy with whatever I come up with next!  
_**Analadybug**_: Sorry for keeping you waiting with this!  
_**Masked-Maiden-of-Gotham:**_ I'm glad you're interested! I'll try and make the next chapters as funny as I can! Humour is good, no?  
_**LunaEchoWillow:**_ I'm glad you liked it!  
_**CoCo (Guest):**_ I will! Thanks for reviewing!

Wow… lots and lots of reviews… I love you all! :D

If you've got something to say, if you've got something to share, don't be shy! Say it! I love feedback!

Until next time,  
GoddessofDawn out


	3. Chapter 3 - Chapter 2

**A/N:** *_Laughs nervously_* H-hey guys! Long-time no hear, huh? I'm so sorry for the wait! You deserve the truth but, honestly, I don't have an excuse!

As promised you'll get to see the rest of the Robins' reactions – be warned, there will be a mother-load of bad puns in the chapter and a few cliché plot-twists mentioned below… but if you're okay with that, feel free to read on! Oh, and after some consideration, the girls won't be taking Bruce out shopping just yet… that fun comes later.

Lastly, as always, the feedback have been astounding, unexpected, and just plain wonderful and elating and all that other jazz – thank you so much.

**Disclaimer:** Let me think about it – NO!

* * *

**The Swap**

* * *

**~Chapter Two~  
**_Say What?_

* * *

Thirteen-year-old Timothy Drake let out a long sigh when he walked into the front lobby of the Manor that afternoon and suspected nothing out of the ordinary as he made his way to the kitchen.

There, he found Alfred busy ironing a blue shirt.

"Hi, Alfred," the teenager greeted casually, dumping his school bag on the counter before heading straight for the fridge.

"Welcome back, Master Tim – long day at school, I take it?" he asked, looking up in time to see Tim take out a soda can.

"It was okay, I guess," Tim admitted, running his fingers through his hair. "Homework load's minimal at least. What about your day?" he asked, taking a sip of his soda.

The teenager noticed an amused spark enter the butler's already bright blue eyes.

"Interesting," he said and paused, "Very, very… interesting."

Tim then noticed a police badge on the counter and went over to take a closer look at it. "Who's shirt is that?"

"Master Dick's. I just have to iron it out before giving it back to him."

Tim perked up a little at the mention of his older brother. "Dick's here? Is Bruce back too?"

"They are indeed, young sir. However, they aren't alone, a few members of the League are with them as well."

"Business?"

The corners of Alfred's mouth quirked up involuntarily. "In a manner of speaking…"

* * *

_**The Batcave…**_

* * *

"WHAT?!" Diana's voice rang out loudly, startling a few bats out of their slumber as it echoed throughout the cave.

Bruce, for once, shared the Amazon's sentiment, and glared daggers at Zatanna's retreating form. "What do you mean you can't do anything?" he asked incredulously.

Zatanna, who had taken to hiding behind Clark, let out a small startled yelp and moved so that she was completely hidden from view behind the Man of Steel.

Say what you will, even looking the way they did, Batman and Wonder Woman could still be as intimidating as all heck.

Or… was that Batwoman and Wonder Man now? Either way, Diana looked ready to punch something through a wall while Zatanna was pretty sure the scowl on Bruce's face could peel the paint off the side of the Batmobile.

"Look, I'm sorry," Zatanna said, very cautiously sticking her head around from behind Clark, "but fact is, Circe's magic is on a whole different level than mine is – I don't even really know what kind of spell we're dealing with here!"

"Then you can't tell whether this is all permanent or not?" Clark asked.

"No. I can do some research and see if I can find something, but, right now, the only way I can think of reversing the spell is if you can get Circe to undo it for you."

"That'll be easier said than done," Diana said, frowning. "She won't just make herself know to us, and even if we do find her, there's usually a price involved asking her for anything."

"That, and we can't trust her." Bruce added grimly.

Clark sighed. "I know…" he asked, before facing the magician. "But is there really nothing you can do, Zee?"

Zatanna shook her head. "I'm really sorry."

"So, wait," Dick said from the side lines, now occupying the chair behind the Batcomputer, speaking for the first time in a while. "Does that mean they're stuck like this?"

"Unless the spell wears off on its own, yeah."

Diana let out a frustrated groan. "This is just perfect! Now I'm going to have to cancel my dinner plans with Dean this evening."

Bruce shot the Amazon a disgusted look. "Really? Out of the million other things you could and should be thinking right now, _that_'s what jumped into your mind first?"

Diana's eyes narrowed. "Just like you and everyone else in this cavern, I am very concerned about this and how it is going to affect us, but unlike _some_ of us, Bruce," she said, saying his name with so much venom it sent shivers down even Superman's spine, "I choose to have a life _beyond_ my duty."

Bruce looked like he was about to respond, when, luckily, right before their arguing could escalate and anything else could have been said, the five of them heard footsteps coming from the stairs leading up, and a voice.

"Hey, Dick, are you down there?"

Bruce cursed and Dick laughed, both relieved and amused at the same time.

"Sure am, little bro!" he called up.

"What's so funny?" Tim inquired, his voice getting closer.

"Oh, you know, Timmy, just laughing at Bruce." He said, Bruce redirecting his glare at him. Dick remained unfazed and simply grinned broader.

Tim finally reached the bottom of the stairs, looking confused. "Why would you possibly-"

When his eyes fell on Bruce, his voice caught in his throat and his eyes practically bulged out of his skull.

"_Bruce_?" Tim finally choked out.

"The one and only!" Dick piped in cheerfully.

"What…?"

Clark then cleared his throat, though he too was smiling slightly.

Tim's head snapped over to the other older heroes, his jaw dropping when he saw Diana.

"That's my cue…" Zatanna began awkwardly, taking a step back and away from Clark. "I'll leave the explaining to you guys. In the meantime, I'll see if I can find anything and get back to you – who knows, maybe this isn't permanent after all?"

"I'll come with you back to the Watchtower." Diana said, still apparently ticked off. "Are you coming too, Kal?"

"Not yet." Clark said with a small smile. "But I'll see you later, okay?"

Diana nodded before saying goodbye to both Dick and Tim, and finally shot Bruce a parting scowl he had met with his own before marching over to Zatanna near the telleporter.

Light filled the Cave and both of them were gone.

"Was that Wonder-" he said before stopping himself and shaking his head, "I mean, was that Diana?"

"Yep. Sure was." Dick answered.

Tim still looked confused about what had just happened. "Did I miss something?"

Dick chuckled and stood up. "I'll tell you everything on the way up, little bird. I need to get my shirt back from Alfred anyway."

"Yeah, speaking of that, Alfred says you should handle your caffeine better – how did that happen exactly?"

"Ah, you see little brother, it all started when I logged onto the computer at work this morning-"

"Which I'm guessing wasn't for work-related purposes." Tim added.

Dick shrugged and slung an arm over his younger brother's shoulder. "Details, who needs 'em? But that's beside the point – I went to check my emails when I noticed a particularly interesting notification from Wally-"

When they left, Clark then turned his head and looked over at Bruce, a disappointed expression on his face. Bruce only huffed and looked away – Clark was the one of small handful people who could ever making him feel bad about anything.

And he didn't like it.

Not one single bit.

"Don't." Bruce warned.

"I wasn't going to say anything." Clark said and sighed. "But you know this can't go on, Bruce."

"I said don't go there, Clark."

Clark's frown deepened. "Well, somebody's got to! Is it really that hard to at least try and act civil around her? It's like… you're picking fights with her on purpose."

Bruce resisted the childish urge to point out that she started it but instead opted for scowling at the ground.

"And I think I know why that is…" Clark said matter-of-factly.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Bruce, there's a lot of things you, of all people, can hide from me, but it doesn't mean I'm blind to what's staring me in the face – don't think I didn't notice the way your face fell when she mentioned Dean." Clark said, noticing the hard edge that took to Bruce's dark eyes.

"And I get it," Clark went on sincerely. "Really, I do, and I wish things could be different between you two – I know Diana would have wanted it to be, and I think you did… or do too, but this… tension you have, it's not helping anybody."

"Then what do you suggest I do, Boy-Scout?" Bruce snapped. "Please, do tell, since you're obviously the relationship expert between the two of us." The words were dripping with sarcasm, making Clark flinch.

"We both know that isn't the case, Bruce." he said quietly.

Bruce arched an eyebrow. "You still haven't told Lois about-?" he trailed-off disbelievingly.

Clark sighed. "I'm getting there. But don't change the subject, I'm only trying to help."

Bruce huffed again and turned around and walked over to the Batcomputer, sitting down again. "Trying to fix a doomed relationship isn't helping, Clark," He said, focusing his attention on the screen, fingers typing as if on their own accord, "if anything, it's regressive. Focus on your own problems instead and I'll focus on mine."

"What are you doing now?" Clark asked, standing next to him.

"What does it look like?" he asked as a picture of Circes popped up on screen, followed by a stream of data. "The sooner I find the witch, the sooner things go back to normal."

Clark didn't answer and instead gently laid a hand on Bruce's shoulder, squeezing it slightly – he didn't say anything and Bruce didn't outwardly respond to the reassuring gesture.

Retracting his hand, Clark went over to the transporter and typed in the coordinates back to the Watchtower.

When he left, Bruce's fingers stilled and he turned his head over to where the Kryptonian was standing, letting a small sigh escape his lips before returning his attention to the computer screen.

* * *

**(That night)  
**_**Elsewhere…**_

* * *

Jason Todd was bored. Mind-numbingly, soul-crushingly bored.

For once, for some obscure reason, his territory in Gotham's West End was quieter than usual, so much so that he didn't bother gearing-up and was bumming out in his dilapidated apartment.

Lying on his stomach on his couch, he flipped over onto his back and let the remote in his hand fall to the floor as he draped an arm over his face.

"So… bored…" he lamented quietly to no one.

Lifting his arm when he heard a tapping noise at his half-open window, Jason wasn't even annoyed when he found his 'big brother', now Nightwing, standing on the fire escape with a stupid grin on his face.

"Get up, I want to show you something." Dick said matter-of-factly without so much as a greeting.

Jason snorted. "Get out of my apartment, Grayson." He deadpanned.

"Technically, I'm not _in_ your apartment, Jaybird."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever, just go away." He mumbled, turning back on his stomach, planting his face on a pillow.

"What? Do you got something better to do? Anyway, I bet you twenty bucks you've _never_ seen what I'm about to show you."

Jason weighed his options – on the one hand, he could have either tried shooting Dick (though honestly, been there, done that a few times, still haven't gotten the damn t-shirt), _or_, on the other hand, he could have gone with him, thereby easing his boredom a little, and maybe score some extra cash on the side.

Huh, choices…

Sighing, Jason sat up. "I'll be out in ten."

* * *

After suiting up, the Red Hood followed Nightwing to the other side of town and was lead to a rooftop on which they found Robin sitting on the edge, watching a fight that was happening on the roof next to it.

Robin looked started when he saw Red Hood and looked at Nightwing questioningly.

"What the hell is _he_ doing here?" he asked absurdly.

"Relax, little bird, he's with me." Nightwing reassured.

"What? Why?"

"Yeah, I'm with the kid for once – what am I doing here?" Red Hood asked, turning towards the slightly older vigilante, his eyebrow raised behind his mask.

Nightwing grinned and pointed towards the fight on the neighbouring rooftop. When he looked, Red Hood saw three or four meaty thugs, surrounding a woman in a Batsuit – she must have been winning as he noticed two other men were lying on the ground, unconscious and clearly beaten to a pulp.

Jason actually winced a little when her fist connected with one of the thug's faces with an audible crunch.

"Who's the chick with the anger-issues and a Batman fetish?" he asked.

"Anger issues? A little rich coming from you, isn't it, Jason?" Robin smirked, making Nightwing snigger.

"Shut it, Replacement. It still doesn't answer my question."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you…" Nightwing said cryptically.

Red Hood scoffed. "So then, is this the big thing I've apparently never seen before? Hate to break it to you, Dickie-bird, but this isn't the first time I've seen some nut dress up like the old man and play hero."

"Maybe, but doesn't anything look _a little_ familiar?" Nightwing prompted. Robin shot him a disapproving look which he ignored.

Red Hood looked back at the woman and found himself hesitating for a split second.

"Kate got a haircut?" he asked, referring to the real Batwoman.

Nightwing shook his head. "Nope."

Red Hood then noticed the way she moved, the way she punched, her kicks, the obvious expertise in the execution…

"She's pretty good…" he admitted.

"Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure one of the _best_," Nightwing added.

"Huh… does Bruce know about her?"

Robin coughed as the grin on Nightwing's face now took up at least half of his face.

"Funny that you should mention him…"

* * *

Bruce somehow managed to finish off the last of the would-be burglars on his own after some effort.

He wasn't as strong as a woman and he was bruised even underneath all his armour from where some of the thugs managed to land a few blows.

Rubbing his now sore wrists, he had to stop himself from winching – his new body wasn't exactly built for dealing strong punches and didn't fare any easier against taking them either.

Then, all of a sudden, "He's a WHAT?!"

Oh no.

Bruce's head snapped up at the sound of the familiar voice and turned around, automatically glaring up at his sons, all three of them.

"Holy crap! It is him!" Jason said before bursting out in laughter. He then slapped Dick on the back before digging into the side pocket of his pants and pulled out his wallet, taking out a twenty and handed it to him.

"Thank you kindly." Dick said, smirking wolfishly.

"You told him?" Bruce demanded, balling his fists.

"Hey, don't look at me!" Tim protested, pointing over his shoulder. "It was his idea to let the Hood in on this."

Bruce redirected his glare onto his oldest son.

Dick only kept on grinning. "He would have found out somehow anyway!" he said matter-of-factly. "Besides, everyone else knows already!"

Bruce ground his teeth together and squared his shoulders, turning around and stalked off in the opposite direction.

"Hey, Bruce!" Jason called after him. "Looking good!"

Having had just about enough of the jokes on his expense, Bruce then pulled out a batarang before spinning around on his heel and threw it at Jason – the Red Hood must have anticipated this as he dodged it easily enough.

"I can't believe I'm about to say this, but you throw like a girl!" he taunted, and even Tim had to fake a cough to hide his own amusement. Dick just openly started laughing and had leaned against Jason for support, the two of them high-fiving each other.

As Bruce turned to leave again, he walked over to the ledge before spreading his arms, his cape doubling as a glider, and jumped off – the sound of Nightwing, Red Hood, and eventually Robin's laughter echoing into the night behind him.

* * *

**(Three days later)  
**_**The Watchtower**_

* * *

Clark felt like facepalming as he and Diana stood outside the conference room that afternoon – they had a meeting scheduled in ten minutes with the other founders and decided to wait for Bruce who was usually the last to arrive.

However, they were caught up by Question who, strangely enough, was very fascinated with Bruce and Diana's 'transformation'.

"Now, you said a witch did this to you?" the faceless detective asked.

It was very clear Diana was getting annoyed. "For the fifth time, Question, yes."

"Are you sure? Because, you know, I read somewhere about a woman in Korea that ate a bowl of radioactive rice who grew a-"

"Question!" Clark said sharply, cutting him off before he could finish his sentence.

"I was going to say 'moustache', Superman, before you interrupted me. Why, what did you think?"

The corner of Clark's mouth twitched. "You know what? Never mind…"

Question just shook his head. "Get your mind out of the gutter." He said disapprovingly and walked away, leaving Clark to stare after him open-mouthed.

Just then, Bruce happened to come from the same direction, and just before they passed each other, Question paused and tipped his fedora before going on without a word.

Bruce stared after him for a second before turning to Clark.

"Do I even want to know?" he asked, seeing his expression.

The Kryptonian only shook his head. "No, no you do not."

Bruce raised an eyebrow. "Okay then." He said and looked over at Diana. His mouth turned into a thin line, but said nothing an nodded once, curtly. Clark didn't fail to notice something like disappointment enter Diana's eyes, but she returned the gesture nonetheless – it was civil at least, but just a little sad too.

Clark composed his face the best he could and cleared his throat. "So, uh, should we go in?" he asked quietly.

When his two best friends nodded again, he watched them go and sighed inaudibly before going in after them.

* * *

"_Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid.  
And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."  
_- George Carlin

* * *

**A/N:** Sweet mother of Neptune – THIS TOOK THREE MONTHS?! Eish…

Trust me loyal readers, it wasn't my intention to keep you waiting for so long, statistically speaking, this story is doing the best out of all my other stories I have written for this site. As some of you might be aware, I am currently busy with my other Justice League story _Bridezillas & Kryptonite_, and honestly, I haven't really been giving this one the attention I believe in my heart it deserves – however, don't fear! I do in fact have a plan for _The Swap_, but I am going to ask that you be patient with me.

And as for the two cliché things you might have picked up in this chapter (Lois not knowing Clark's secret & Diana having a boyfriend), take them with a pinch of salt. Oh, and Dean isn't a real character in the DC universe, he's just an OC who plays an minor role in this story which I created and modelled after an almost-not-quite-I-wish-friend-who-was-a-boy I had the biggest crush on when I was younger (it didn't work out for reason I'd rather not go into detail).

OH! Anyway, pathetic life-story aside, in regards to the genders of this story and referring to Bruce and Diana, should or should I not referrer to Bruce as 'she' and 'Batwoman', and Diana as 'he' and 'Wonder Man' (I know there is a Marvel hero who has the same name) – I see now this could eventually lead to confusion, so I need your opinion!

**In Response to the previous chapter's reviews:**

_**Xoraan:**_ Dick and the other Robins are going to appear quite a lot in this story, and Wally's going to make another appearance in the next chapter (fun, fun, fun lol) – I sincerely hope this chapter lived up to your expectations.  
_**Winged-panther1:**_ …There will be more Jason after this, promise. I'm not sure this is face-freezingly-funny though…  
_**Princess Aixa:**_ I'm so, so sorry for the wait!  
_**kyoshira7:**_ I'm afraid you will have to be a little patient with me, but I am in fact planning something for Bruce and Diana in later chapters - this will be a WonderBats fic, I promise – oh, and the next chapter is going to be awesome (I would like to think so anyway – Bruce is going to have to go on a little mission with a reluctant Clark) ;) 'nough said.  
_**Guest:**_ Thank you! :)  
_**dragonball256:**_ You can count on that my friend, if anything, you can bet on that…  
_**Pobre:**_ I just hope I don't make him sound too OOC! But, yeah, his temper has gotten the best of him in a few situations in the past… there will be more to come, soon(-ish).  
_**1Superman4Me:**_ Is it wrong of me to be happy about that? Not the hurting yourself laughing part, of course, but I am pleased you like it.  
_**yob3**_**:** Next one, promise!  
_**ZachZ:**_ One could only hope, friend!  
_**angelvan105**_: And I shall!  
_**maculedes**_: _Me allegro de que no ha renunciado a mis historias – gracias por el interés que ha mostrado por ellos_ (god, I love my translating app…)  
_**Alaura Nova Shadowmane:**_ Though, I am going to have to spoil it a little and say that Circe isn't going to be the main bad guy in this story… who that role belongs to… well, you won't be expecting it ;) anywho! I am pleased you liked this!  
_**ScazzaGrace:**_ Don't worry, I'm not giving up, I'm just terrible at updating.  
_**StarStreakedSky:**_ Okay, man, chill out, lol – and you're right, I do need to update this, and a lot, all at once… I'll work on it, promise :)  
_**Guest(2):**_ And real life, I'm afraid – university is kind of kicking my ass, and my family is nuts (then again, which family isn't) – I am sorry I kept you waiting though :)

Okay, well, I got a History test on the slave trade in African this Friday so I'm going to study for that son of a bitch now – wish me luck, oh, and leave a review if you want (flames are acceptable, praise is flattering and suggestions welcomed)

Peace!

Until next time,  
GoddessofDawn out


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